The Literary Assassin

Fiction, fashion, and hand-to-hand combat by Holly Messinger

I make no apologies. I work with too many editors.

Delusions particular to editors

by Holly Messinger

2003
free for private use

1. I am the most knowledgeable, cultured and well-read person in the publishing industry.
2. I have unerring taste in what constitutes good literature.
3. I have my finger on the pulse of what readers want.
4. I have my finger on the pulse of what commercial buyers want.
5. Everything in the slush pile is crap.
6. All self-published books are crap.
   Addendum: Most everything published by a small press is crap, too. Except of course for my small press.
7. Every self-maintained author website is crap.
8. If your book is really good, someone will publish it. (It just won’t be us.)
9. Because this book offends my personal politics/religion/sexual hangups, it won’t sell.
10. “Considering” the first 3 chapters of a submission takes longer than writing the damn thing in the first place.
11. Writers have far more time on their hands than editors. That’s why they spend all their time pestering us.
12. Book publishing is the last bastian of artistic integrity in the entire pre-packaged money-grubbing entertainment industry.
13. All writers are fragile and need plenty of hand-holding.
14. The editor is impartial, and therefore has a much clearer vision of what the story “needs” to be.

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