This was my first tai chi competition, summer 2000. The picture is horrible, the lighting was horrible, and I looked stoned because I was so exhausted, but you'll note the two gold medals: one is for beginner's empty hand form, the other is for beginner's internal weapons (Phoenix Fan Form). That's my friend and former teacher, Mary Ann, on the right. Her husband is my current teacher, Sifu Chun Man Sit.

Here's a not-too-horrible performance of me doing fan form at the Tai Chi Legacy competition in 2006. It was my third competition ever; the first one in a major venue, and my first one as an advanced student. I don't think I was really ready for advanced competition, but I'd been doing it for so long I couldn't honestly stay in intermediates. There's really quite a range of skill levels in Advanced. I'd say I'm at the bottom end of it; the upper end are quasi-professionals. People from China who want to build a reputation as a teacher come to the United States to compete in the big tournaments, because it's easier to win a Grand Championship. For the record, I was stuffed full of ibuprofen during this performance. I had terrible cramps, and my shoes were way too sticky for the carpet. Other than that, it went fine.

And here's another video of my fan form from a mini-tournament nine months later: March 2007. I used to hate this video, but after studying it a while I see some things that I actually like better than the first one. It's more unified: for example the left arm and leg move with greater harmony; and the movements overall are smoother. There's not enough roundness, however, there's not enough body movement, and all the stances are too high and stiff--note how I always seem to be up on my toes? This was before I had the revelation about the hip-dropping.

This is the most recent video I have of myself, from the Kansas City Ethnic Festival in August 2007. I am in the center front, because Sit says it's traditional for women to lead the exercises. I like this video because it looks fairly crisp and clean. There's also a good deal of improvement in my stances: the feet and knees are much more relaxed. There's still some tension in the hip, though, which causing the lower back to sway and my butt to stick out, particularly in the horse stance. Compare my stance and fluidity of movement, with that of my Sparring Partner, on the far left of the screen. You can see his stance is much deeper and his steps look smoother. The irony of this tension is that you do it because you feel insecure in the stances; you want to tense to keep your balance. However if you relax, you are actually more secure, because gravity will pull your feet down like a pair of suction cups. I made great strides in cleaning up bad habits after viewing this.

And here is my teacher, Chun Man Sit, performing our competition form. We call it the "kicks" form.

Page text copyright  2009 by Holly Messinger. Videos copyright their respective owners.